Psi Ball Station

Main
Training
Other stuff
My journal
The Kinesis'
Pictures
Good books
About me
Links

Here is my journal for all those curious minds out there. I obviously can't keep this updated everytime I write in my journal, but you'll get a lot of my entries. Here it is, my unedited journal - copy and pasted directly from the source:
`Sean Connelly's Psychic Log:
Started psychic stuff on Feb-1-1999 because of the movie "The Rage: Carrie
2". I saw the previews on TV and saw how the girl had telekinetic powers and
I said "I want to do that" so I did a search online and almost 2 months later,
Im here.
=============================================================================
Mar-21-1999:
This is my first entry. I just want to keep a record of everything I do that
is related to psychic stuff. I read a online book about out-of-body
experiences and the guy there kept a journal, so I figured I should. I
havent gone out-of-body yet but I have done some cool psychic things. Lets
start with the things I've done: I can make energy balls in my hands. They
are called PSI-Balls and I can now make them in about 5 seconds. I feel like
a cool wind is being blown over them and my hands get tingly sometimes. Its
cool. I just started making sheilds by projecting energy out my whole body
instead of just my hands but I havent perfected it yet. I tried telekinesis
and failed so I decided to start more basic. The only physical proof I have
of this other than what I feel is I tried to light a candle with my mind when
I saw a very small spark. I got freaked out and decided to not do that
again, but I did about an hour later and saw a swirl around the wick and got
freaked out again and stopped. That was 2 days ago. I spent the night over
my best friends house (SW), and he had trouble getting his Play Station
going. He doesnt believe in all of this yet. He said "Why dont you make my
Play Station work with your mind if your so great" so I told him to turn it
back on and I concentrated on telling the PS to keep trying. It worked and
he was a little freaked out but he still thought it could have happened
because of chance. Later that night I got it going again on my second try.
I have to do some work but tonight I'm definitly going to try to go out-of-
body (OBE) and write tomorrow what happened. I can't wait...
Oh yeah, I should tell you about an experience I thought was weird I had,
um, in around November of 1998 - before I believed in all that psychic stuff:
I can't remember it that well because it was a long time ago. I know the
next day was a school day because I had to get up early and I was thinking
about it all day. This is what I remember... I fell asleep like any other
normal day. I might have been doing hypnosis stuff, because I used to try
and meditate and do stuff like that back then but I'm not really sure. I
remember waking up in the middle of the night, it was dark all around and I
could tell I was lying there in my bed. I think my eyes were closed. I knew
I could move my body parts but I didnt feel like it because I was confortable
and didnt want to do anything but enjoy the free time before a long day of
school. The next thing I know I hear people around me. It wasnt a dream or
anything because it was real. The sounds were probably in my head because
no one else woke up. I heard something like I was standing in the middle of
my school hallway and people were walking by me and I was hearing everyone
have all these different conversations. I heard my friends voices, people I
didnt even talk to, people who I played soccer with (CW), just like I was in
the middle of the hallway and everyone was walking around me. I didnt see
anything, it was all sound. But it was in stereo and I could tone out other
people and listen to someones conversation like you could do in real life. I
couldnt believe what I was hearing but I thought I probably wouldnt get this
chance again so I just listened. I suppose I should of experimented but I
was in shock. I just couldn't believe what I was hearing. People walking by
me in school talking to their friends while I was asleep in my bed! I really
can't remember what happened but I think I got a little freaked out and I
tried to move my arms. Instantly the sounds went away and I was just laying
there in my bed. I tried to forget it and go back asleep but I kept running
through what just happened and couldnt fall asleep. Eventually I think I
fell asleep and woke up the next morning to my alarm clock. It was so cool,
I wish I could do it again and I think I can. I am now understanding what it
could have been. I just want to explore more and find out though...
=============================================================================
Mar-22-1999:
Well, I tried it last night [go OOB] and I think I just fell asleep trying.
Im now reading a new method: Robert Monroe's Method, which is the same
technique an author of another OBE page used. I figure I'll memorize it and
try it tonight. It says to do it after you wake up but I dont have a lot of
time. Maybe I'll go to bed early so I'll wake up naturally. Or maybe take a
nap. I dont know but I'll end this entry here for now. I might write more but it
would be at a different time today - IM ENDING IT HERE.
------
Another entry, Im going to bed now - I think it will work... I cant wait to
try... :-)
=============================================================================
Mar-23-1999:
Well, its the morning and I had a real weird experience. Unfortunatly I have
to go to school so you'll have to wait unitl 4:30-5:00 when I get back from
baseball practice. I'll try some psychic stuff during the day. Some magik.
See you later...
------
Well, I just got home. Now for my experience. Ok, I'm laying there in bed,
and Im laying on my side because thats how Im confortable. I put my hand up
so when I started to drift off I would feel the blanket with my hand. I
tried to fall asleep and stay awake at the same time. I started at around
9:00-9:10 and Id say around 15 to 20 minutes later I kinda wake up. It was
a weird wake up though. The whole time I was keeping from my concious mind
from going away but at the same time bringing up my sub-concious mind. I
dont know if it worked but when I woke up (it seemed like I drifted for a
second) my vision was a little blury and it was like my eyes were closed
but open at the same time. Immediatly I started to panic. I wanted to stay
calm because I knew I wasnt in any trouble but since it was a new experience
my heart started to thumb louder and faster. I would have stayed in the
state but I was really afraid I would have a heart attack. My heart started
to go faster and faster and it didnt seem to stop. Once I knew I couldnt
stay like that I close my eyes and I started to calm down almost instantly.
That was just my first one. After I calmed down and I had a semi-normal
heart beat, I tried again. I wanted to know exactly how this worked and I
wanted to explore more. I started the procedure again and it took another 10
to 20 minutes before I woke up with the same sight. I made myself calm down
and I started to do some tests. First I wanted to "Get out of my body." I
read about how people were stuck in there and couldn't move anything so I
wondered if I was stuck or if I could go fly around. So, makeing sure to
remember the feeling, I tried to move. I tried very softly, not hard because
I didn't want to snap out of it or something. I kinda felt held back but I
knew if I wanted to really move I could. So I just started to relax and get
used to it. I noticed my vision, how I was feeling, how my heart was going
for a good minute or so. Then I thought - ok I got how this is, now I gotta
try and leave. So, I tried very softly and couldn't move that great. Then
it was like my back was arched but it wasnt. Like my shoulder blades were
touching but were also flat at the same time. It was weird. Once I noticed
that I just felt it for a while. It was like my back was arched but like
I was still laying in bed. It was like nothing Ive ever felt before. So,
I got sick of just sitting there and I sat up. I looked back to see if I
could see my body but I sat up with my body. That was a disappointment. I
hoped I would look back and see my body but, unfortunatly I was in my body.
Then I started to question whether I actually started to go into an OBE or
not. I didn't feel any electricity like others described but I definitly
wasn't in a normal state. Its hard to say what I do think really happened.
Maybe I just opened my eyes and I saw what I would normally see and the rest
was in my head or maybe I started to go into an OBE but my body wouldn't let
go of me. Im not sure. I cant wait till tonight though.
Also, during today I was trying to do some telekinetic stuff. The other day
I was trying to influence people to scratch their shoulder or turn around
with no success. Today I tried to move the spring in my pen with my mind.
Now for the weird part... The spring was laying on my notebook nice and
stable and I tried to move it. After a couple of tries it moved a little.
Believe it or not, thats not the weird part. The weird part was I didn't
freak out. I accepted it. I was suprised later that I accepted it but didnt
notice that I didnt freak out until later. It was a relief. My new reality.
I tried again in other classes and failed but I was pretty happy with me and
my sub-concious for understanding it and believing in it. Well, I havent
eaten in 5 hours so Im gonna go eat. I hope I do a full OBE tonight. I'll
chat and read more and see if I can understand what happened last night.
=============================================================================
March-24-1999:
Well, I got some advice last night after I wrote the last entry. The guy on
Yahoo! chat said he goes OBE all the time but he is a skilled mage. He said
it is possible to get lost or find someone else in your body but he said it
is like saying its the same as a plane crashing into your house. I hope hes
right. For now though Ill stick to Telekinesis and PSI stuff. I want to be
a skiled mage before I attempt OBEs again. Im gonna go practice TK now...
------
Well, I practiced some TK stuff with little success but its better then no
success. What else was cool was that I had a random macro-TK. I was taking
apart a hard-drive with my dad when a screw flew at my screwdriver. My dad
said he didn't do it and I knew instantly it was TK. Cool. My dad just
brushed it off like nothing was out of place. Ah well, I hope he sees what I
can see someday...
=============================================================================
March-25-1999
Im not gonna attempt OBEs again. Im gonna go practice TK now...
=============================================================================
March-28-1999
Couple days off - I think I might of had random TK, Ill tell ya later...
=============================================================================
March-29-1999
Well, I'll tell you about my random TK. I was eating pizza and SW was
talking about he accidently tried to put the cap of the pop in his cup
instead of the bottle and we all laughed. I then imagined that the cap was
in the cup. Then, when SW was screwing it onto the bottle, it flew out of
his hands and landed into his cup. Thats weird. Later that night I was
asking about how that happened and he said he squeezed it and it just flew
and happened to go in his cup. I told him my theory about my random TK and I
told him about the hard-drive one from March-24-1999. He said that it was
really weird and he didn't know really what happened. Maybe he thought I was
crazy but I think he knew how I felt. Maybe it was just an accident and I
had nothing to do with it, maybe I saw the cap flying and my sub-concious
directed it into the cup, or maybe my sub-concious forced the cap out of SW's
hands and into the cup. I don't know. Im gonna keep practicing though...
=============================================================================
April-1-1999
Yesterday I saw my PSI ball which was cool. I was in lunch and WB's brother
was picking on JT. He was just being mean. It was starting to piss me off
so I decided to give him an illness. I balled up all the negitave energy I
could get my brain on, into my hands. I cupped my hands differently so I
would get it more compacted but it was completely surrounded by my hands so I
couldn't see it without opening my hands. I opened my hands to look inside
and I saw a blue wavy worm like thing go from one side to the other. That
broke my concentration so it went away. I made another one and looked in and
saw the worm thing again. I tried not to break my concentration but it was
too hard. I then made my third one and leashed it onto WB's brother. He'll
be feeling it later. I also made someone levitate with my mind today too...
april fools! he he he...
=============================================================================
April-6-1999 OBE #1
This morning I had an OBE. It was the coolest thing in the world. I used
the SunEye method. I set my alarm for 5:11 am and went to bed at 11:00 and
started looking at my third eye (without straining my face) with my eyes
closed and saying to myself "Today will be the day I have an out of body
experience". I did this for a long time. I forgot what I was saying a
couple times which was weird but eventually I fell asleep. I woke up again
at 3:12 am and I thought "Oh great, I woke up before my alarm, it wont work
now", but I continued anyways. I fell asleep and woke up again at 5:05 am.
No need for the alarm so I turned it off. I got up and was feeling real
drowsy but what do you expect. I started to read the book I set up eariler
but I had to go to the bathroom. I went downstairs, did my business, washed
my face (thats part of the method) and came back upstairs. I read in full
light at my desk area. I read the section on Astral Travel once and it was
only 5:15. Since you had to be awake a whole hour, I read it again. 5:30.
So I thought, "Im not reading it AGAIN... I'll do something else". So I
picked up the SunEye method printout and read through it. Then I started
looking through these other books and started looking at the pictures. They
were cool, but the whole time I was thinking about OBEing. It finally rolled
around to 5:50 and I thought "Close enough" and went back to bed. I focused
on my third eye like before and said "I will now have an out of body experie-
nce". I did that for a while and kept forgeting what I was gonna say but I
eventually fell asleep. I also remember feeling all tingly but I cant
remember when that was and I dont think it played a big part anyways. I fell
asleep and woke up again at around 7:15. The SunEye method said I would wake
up in an OBE, Lucid Dream, or False Awakening. I thought "Crap, all that
work for nothing", so I went back to sleep. It was kinda hard to get back to
sleep this time because it wasnt that early and the sun was shining but I
remember talking to myself saying how Great Britain shouldn't let anyone be
king and queen, they should at least be there a couple years and get the hang
of the government, then I remembered you were born into it (duh...) and I
started laughing at myself. Then *BANG* I was out of body. No strange
noises or loud hissing like things Ive read before say, just zip. I was
floating outside my body so that my head was facing east but my body was
facing north. It was the weirdest thing, then about 3-5 seconds later *BANG*
Im below my body with my arms going through my bed. I started feeling what
my hands were on. It felt like wood. Then I thought "Ah, man, this is
awesome, I gotta get out..." so I started wobbling back and forth, piviting
on like my sternum. I went up on my left side and then *BANG* - back in my
body. I wish it lasted longer but it still rocked. I was awake - not like
disorentated or anything like when you wake up, I was just laying there play-
ing what happened over and over in my head so I would remember it all. The
weird thing too was I didnt feel the weight of my blanket - I didnt really
think about this eariler but I didnt feel it at all. I realized this when I
tried to rock beck in forth like I did in my OBE in my body. I found it
a lot harder than it was because of my blanket and gravity. Both didnt
effect my OBE person. It was a wild experience. I cant wait till tonight.
From now on, when Im OBE Ill call me - the part out of body - my soul. Even
though Im athiest, it makes it a lot easier to type. Ill call my body - the
part I left behind - my body. Just so its easier for me to type and so you
can understand. :-)
=============================================================================
April-8-1999
Man, I got so close this morning. It was so anoying. Well, I heard and saw
a lot even though I wasnt OOB. I heard 5 5 7 8. Maybe its the win 4 or
something but I had to write it here for proof. I gotta go to practice now.
=============================================================================
May-23-1999
Holy cow - Something really cool happened today. I was over at SW's house
spending the night. He had this knife that was pretty sharp from the last
time I remembered seeing it. I asked him: "Did you get this knife
sharpened?" and right after I asked it I thought "Well, yeah, a little while
ago" - then I was like - cool this is what he's gonna say - My mind is
telling me the answer before SW actually says it. Then SW answered "No." and
I thought - crap, I thoguht it was gonna work too, then, like 2 seconds later
he said "Well, yeah, a little while ago." - I didn't freak out either. I was
like "Yeah - thats how it's supposed to go". Very cool.
=============================================================================
May-30-1999
Well, for the past month or so I've been trying to go out of body. I've had
a lot of weird experiences but too many to type really. Most were just from
meditation. Ya know - getting used to it. Im now starting to go into deep
meditation during the day instead of just at night. It's hard to find time
though - if I disappear into my room for a long time when my parents are
home, they'll see what Im doing and mess me all up. They think that I've
stopped all this psychic stuff too. I have to keep a low profile so they
dont think Im crazy. Every day I experience something psychic though. Now
Im trying to see auras too. No success but its my first day. Every night
Im gonna try to go OOB but I've only been out 3 times. The first time is
already in here. The second time I went OOB but I was stuck. I couldn't
move. It lasted about 30-45 seconds. The third time I was having a really
weird night. That day I started asking myself "Am I dreaming?" every 15 min.
or so so I could catch myself in a dream and go lucid. My night was really
REALLY really! weird. A lot of confusion. I had a dream that I had an OBE
but I knew it was a dream when I woke up. Then later that night I woke up
and my soul fell through my bed. OBE #3. Once I hit though I was snapped
into a dream though. Very fast. Im gonna keep trying... I hope I dont
forget to write to you like I did in most of the month of May and April :)...
=============================================================================
May-31-1999
Well, something pretty cool happened last night. I was reading this thing on
how micro-TK can make chances fall one way. I already knew that but then it
was talking about how you can sub-conciously stack a deck in your favor. So
I tried it out. First try - I wanted to get the Ace of Spades on the top of
the deck. Pretty simple but statisticaly impossible. 1/52 tries I would get
it according to probability. First try - fail. Second try - fail. Third
try - Success! If that doesnt make you think... I was pretty amazed and I
just stared at the card for a couple minutes absorbing what just happened.
Mind you, I kept my eyes closed most of the time when I was shuffling - and
the only time I opened my eyes was when I was looking at the design on the
back of the cards. Oh yeah - I check the card underneath the Ace of Spades
and it was the Ace of Diamonds. Then I tried a couple other things with no
or little success - just that one time, that was pretty amazing. I pushed
the logic out of my head and just let my sub-concious control the deck. It
worked.
=============================================================================
June-23-1999
Well, I've been trying to have OBEs more and more. I've had a lot of lucid
dreams though which is really fun. The other night I had the wierdest lucid
dream. I kinda woke up and I knew I was in bed. I visualized I was jumping
really high on my road. The more I visualized the more it seemed real. I
started seeing myself jumping up and down on the road (1st person) but I could
still feel myself in my bed. Gradually, I was just in a dream where I was
on my roading jumping really high. It was really cool. I jumped on my road
about a half-mile (didn't take long since I was going so high) and I thought,
"This is dumb, I should try to wake my concious up totally while in a dream."
Usually when I notice Im dreaming I get distracted and forget about it (??) so
I have to make a good effort to "wake" myself up in my dream so I can go
around normally. So, in my jumping dream I tried to wake myself up totally
while still being in my dream but blacked out or something because I dont
remember anything else. But the reason Im writting in now is because what
happened today. It was around 2:30 in the afternoon and no one was home so
I decided to try and go OOB. I went up in my room and layed down. I started
to breath slowly and just feel the air cool my body down. Then, my head felt
like it just shook a little. It was like my head was rubber and someone
flicked it and it vibrated back and forth. I thought "Cool, I should experi-
ment with this" so I tried to spread it throughout my body. It worked and my
whole body felt like jello blubbering around. It didnt move that much but
it was still pretty weird to feel, expecially since I just started trying to
have an OBE. After messing around with that for like 2 minutes or so it
seemed like a trap door just flew open underneeth me and I fell down like 3
floors then something cusioned me and brought me back up - only to be dropped
again. I could still feel my bed underneeth me, it just felt like I was
falling though. After about 3 minutes I kinda lost it and blacked out. I
woke up to my mom that was yelling at me. I was really mad for some reason.
It was cool though. Im definitily gonna try tonight.
=============================================================================
August-13-1999
I had an OBE this morning, I'll type more tonight.
=============================================================================
August-14-1999
Ok, I had another OBE last night, first I'll talk about the one I had on the
thirteenth.
It was morning. I was like just going in and out of sleep and my dreams
where fading in and out. I would wake up for like 30 seconds then go back
to sleep then wake up a half hour later for 30 seconds and go back to sleep.
I did this for a while. One time when I woke up though, I was playing with
my arm. It seemed like my arm was floating and if I concentrated on it, it
could rise so it was level on my bed and I could lower it into my bed. I
know how strange this seems but I didn't find it out of the ordinary. Then,
it dawned on me - "What? My arm can't go through my bed!!!" And I started to
see that I was OOB. It took me probably 3-5 minutes before I noticed I was
not in my body though. So, I decided to get OUT of my body. I saw my
physical arm lying there. Then, I moved my arm and I saw my soul's finger-
tips. I couldn't move my head though. I tried to push off the wall with my
soul's finger tips. I push myself a little bit but the wall got out of my
reach and I didn't know what to do. So I tried to "feel how nice it would
be to float up to the ceiling" like Monroe always says. But I couldn't get
a clear view of the ceiling because I couldn't move my head. I tried to
float up for about 2-5 seconds but quit (I don't know why - I think because
I couldn't see the ceiling well and it was bugging me). The next thing I
remember is just being in my body. That was it. I didn't black out - I
don't think - but I'm not really sure. Oh, I almost forgot. One of those
times when I woke up, before my OBE, I said to my over-soul "If I have a OBE
today, I'll try to spend less time on the computer and actually get some
excercise today. Heck, I'll try to run a mile in under 6:00 min." I thought
there was no way I would actually get out, but I did. So, yes, I did run.
I couldn't make it a mile though, I went 3/4 of a mile in 4 minutes and was
too tired to go on. Good deal!
Now for my weird OBE last night:
I went to bed at around 4:00 am. I really didn't feel like trying to leave
but I thought "I have to keep trying, I just had one the other night - there
is no way Im giving up." So I tried. I was thinking earilier (when I was
running and excercising) that the only times I've gone OOB was when I wasn't
trying and was just relaxed. I didn't use a specific method, it just
happened. So I said - "Well, I'm going to try but not really TRY, just relax
and let it happen". I think that is important in getting out. I layed down
and thought of something to try to keep my mind clear of thought. It is to
say to yourself (in your head) two things:
1) "Any thought I have will end right away and I will have a clear mind"
2) "The longer I have a clear mind, the harder it is to not have a clear mind"
Let me tell you, I said those two lines (not WORDS, just the idea really)
like 2 or 3 times but it was getting hard to think it. It worked! So I just
layed there. I just watched myself getting a clearer and clearer mind. No
thought was getting in and the thoughts that did get in vanished immediatly.
I was suprised but not for long. After like only 1 minute or so of having
a clear mind, I feel asleep or blacked out or something. I did have a dream
but I can't remember if it was after or before my OBE. Thats the only thing
that sucks about OBEs when your a beginner, you can't remember anything! I
know it'll get A TON easier in time... Anyways, I remember waking up and I
knew right away I was out of body. It was dark but I just knew where things
were. I don't know, it was like everything had a glow to them. Not like a
light or anything, just a - Ah, words can't describe it. It's annoying trying
to describe it when nothing you say (or type) will show what it was. There
wasn't any color, I'm sure of that. Everything had just a gray glow.
Anyways, I didn't really wake up in my body, out of body :), I woke up like
kneeling on my bed where my physical knees were. Like I just lifted myself
up. I got out and stood with my back to the wall. All of the sudden, I got
yanked backwords. I was doing back flips over and over and over agian. It
was pretty scary. A lot of thoughts raced through my head. First I thought,
"What the heck is going on?" then I was like "Help! Someone help me!" then
I thought, "I want to be back" and I was. Just like that I was standing where
I first took off. I don't know why, but I wanted to try to go flying again.
This time without all the rotating. I turned towards my window and jumped
out. I kicked a little too much and was doing forward flips through the air.
I was still scared but just thought "I want to be back" and I was. This time,
I jumped out my window but with less kick so I wouldn't rotate. I started
going through the tree outside of my house and I was flying out. The bad
part was I could only go in the direction I kicked off in. I couldn't
steer or anything which really made me scared. I think now I just have to
control my fears and try to go with the flow, like just relax my thoughts and
think of what I want to do. Like I was saying, I was getting really scared
so I thought "I want to be back in my body" and BOOM, I was. Just like that.
That was such a wild experience. I'm going to "try" again tonight. It's
sounds so fun looking back on it but it was a pretty terrifying experience
for me. Just because I thought I didn't have control, but looking back on
it I can see that I did actually have control, my fears just got in the way.
It's funny. You read and read and read about others experiences and you
think that you're ready and that you would love to be out and that you can
do it and not be unlogical and afraid like everyone else, but once you are
ACTUALLY out, you're just a beginner. I guess nothing can prepare you for
an experience like that. I once thought I could do telekinesis. But when I
actually did it, I was freaked out and my mind went a little nuts. I thought
I could do it but that was just on the surface. Deep down, I thought, "I
don't know - this can't be for real..." but when it happens, you get shook up
because now you TRUELY believe in it and you KNOW how it is and you EXPERIENCE
it. When you havent done it, you think that there is a small gap between
what you hear/read about and when it happens. But when you do it, you look
back and see how enormously huge the gap was. It's 1000000x bigger than I
thought it was. No joke, I'm not over reacting. Remember
Not True:
Belief .. Experience
True:
Belief ..................................1000000x.......... Experience
I'll never forget that.
`