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STAR WARS

Poll: Who is better, Yoda or Anakin Skywalker?

Yoda

83%

[ 25 ]

Anakin Skywalker

16%

[ 5 ]

Total Votes : 30

Author | Message
--- | ---
Posted on Sun Jan 15, 2006 10:23 pm

### Satans_Burrito

Joined: 13 Jan 2006
Posts: 34

I believe that Anakin Skywalker would have been the most powerful Jedi or Sith ever but he was defeated by his master so, now he is disabled. But, if this did not have happened he would have been able to kill anyone. Now that he is disabled, Yoda would be the most powerful Jedi but in terms of who would have been the most powerful Jedi or Sith if they had the chance to grow full then, Anakin would be the Best.

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Posted on Mon Jan 16, 2006 4:06 am

### eversosleepy

Joined: 27 Nov 2005
Posts: 72

First things first, before I start on my Star Wars rant. Jklowhateveryournameis: you will not insult people on this board. If you continue to do so, you will be banned. This goes for everyone else. This board is not even a week old, and I will not have it explode into a fiery ball of fluff.
*Breathes*
Ok. Now I'm ready.
Star Wars: A Simple Look at a Horribly Turkey-Chinned Man's Brainfart
Now, I'm not technically a "geek." I don't have glasses, don't have a pocket protector, I know virtually nothing about computers, I'm in quite good shape, I'm not overly brilliant, and things like physics and chemistry don't interest me. I do, however, love the idea behind Star Wars. Unfortunately, I've found some horrible, horrible sections in these movies. This rant will be quite fragmented, as I haven't bothered to watch these steaming piles of unmentionables in quite a while, but please try and be patient with me.
Star Wars, the original, is currently the only movie which deserves the name of Star Wars. It is Lucas' masterpiece. Had he the budget and time that he'd wished for, it probably wouldn't have been as good as it was. Some may argue with me, saying things like "But it's from the 70's! Eeeew!" and "You're unintelligent and ugly, and no one will want to have your babies," but let me assure you, this movie is amazing. The innovation which took place in this movie was unparalleled, and it still holds a special place in my dvd collection.
I'll skip over the 2nd and 3rd movies, as they are tripe. Absolute tripe. Incest love story? Little green midget that butchers english? No.
Onto the newest and steamiest piles of feces!
"Episode I" was just...bad. So very, very bad. The future "Dark Lord", aka Anakin, is a twerp. He skips, he bobs his head, he says "Yipee!" The Dark Lord does not say "Yipee," George. HE DOESN'T! The actors you've chosen to play the characters are, in general, the biggest mistake ever made by a human being. I spit on you and your cast.
Gungans. WHY GEORGE, WHY? I can only imagine the process leading up to the creation of the Gungan race looked something like this:
George walks down the street of his hometown, pondering to himself quietly.
George: Hmm...what kinda of race should they meet...
Drunken hippy: Yoush gimmay moooooney. I make meeeesa some cash today*hic*.
Angry Jamaican: 'Eyyyy mon. We be aaaaall friend 'ere.
Low IQ child sucking on helium: Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! I can hold my breath forever! *sticks head under water. Proceeds to drown*
George: Oh my god, that's it! I'll make a race that only drunks can understand, give them Jamaican accents, hop them up on helium, and make them live underwater! Yeeeeaaaaah! Man. I'm so smart. One day, I may even learn about real special effects, because my certification ran out five years ago! HAHAHA Psych! NEVAR!
George then proceeds to crossbreed rabits and frogs to make the Gungan race, relying only on his keen wit to help him through this awkward time. Of course, after the crossbreeding, he then adds his own DNA to the mix to create that perfect mix of ugly and stupid, so obviously inherent in this race of misfits. At first I thought JarJar was comic reliefe, then I realized he was there to make socially inept kids feel good about themselves. And yes, JarJar IS responsible for the formation of the empire. Wookies were cool, but George really screwed the pooch with the frog-bunnies.
Padme also pushes the wrong buttons. Something about a 14 year old being attracted to an 8 or 9 year old just seems...wrong. Lets age them a bit, shall we? We'll make them 4 years older. Padme is now 18, and legally an adult. Anakin, at most, is 13. Does anyone else find this to be, oh, I don't know....ILLEGAL? You are sick, George...sick, sick, sick.
For one minute, I will give praise. Darth Maul totally kicked ass. Dual lightsaber? Oooooh shiney! Tattoos and horns? Sweet! Killing Jedi? You rule! Crazy hovering jetbike? I want one! Thus ends my praise.
Now, George wants to be daring and try something new. It'll have to be something cool, though...that's what people want. I know! Lets kill a jedi! And not a sissy one, but a really cool one! Yeah. Bravo, George...you haven't done that before...OH WAIT!
Episode II is possibly the worst of the worst, composed almost entirely of a sissy love story between Anakin, now older, and Padme, who is oddly unchanged. I realize she's supposed to be all grown up, but damn, George! Change the goddamn actors! Get rid of that twit playing Obi-Wan, while you're at it...
Yoda's here, too. Not cool, though. More like an epileptics nightmare. Little lightsaber? Neat. Technique? None! Let's make him spin! Uncontrollably! Count Dooku? Nooooo, Yoda can't beat him. He's got to protect the little sissy pedophile victim. Stupid Anakin.
Clones are stupid. Next, please.
Battlescene! Big arena, scary monsters, hated protagonists chained to rocks! Go George, go! Right your wrongs, fix your mistakes! Wait...why are they suddenly free? What's going on? Jedi? No! Kill them! They seem weak, they're going down easily...excellent...Wait, what's this? Jango Fett? Sweet! Kill the jedi! No! Don't get close to the flamboyant purple lightsaber! NOOOOOOO!
Episode III, aka Satan's Cuddlebunny, is gut-wrenchingly stupid. Anakin has a dream about Padme dying. OH NOES! TEH END OF TEH WURLD! Maybe it's just a dream, you poofy haired greaseball. No no, don't take my advice. Hey, that old guy has power, but it's bad power. No Anakin, don't go over there! Don't fight the flamboyant lightsaber man! You'll lose! What the...? You just beat the greatest jedi swordsman...huh...No! Don't become evil? What's this? He didn't have to go on a long spiel? He had you at "Hello"? Damn you, Anakin. Damn you to the jedi equivalent of a bad, bad place.
Now that you're evil, and basically destroying everyone, why not destroy the one person you've obtained this power to try and help? Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. Fight stupid teacher, get legs chopped off, start on fire, lose your wife because she's too much of a fop to stay alive without you, get robot legs, shake Deathstar apart with force powers.
I think that's about the entire plotline...sad, I didn't get millions to do that...
Anyways, it's 2am, and there's no hope of salvaging this once semi-coherent post. I think I'll just end it, and say that Georges brain has liquified, and now rests in that huge waddle he's sporting. Sure George, it's just a really thick beard...
By the way, Yoda and Anakin both sucked. Luke was stronger than both of them.

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Posted on Mon Jan 16, 2006 9:05 am

### psiboy20

Joined: 12 Jan 2006
Posts: 32

HEy satan burrito!
I honestly think yoda is better. If anikan lost to obi wan and yoda is a greater fighter than obiwan, then that means yoda is the better jedi.
sorry eversosleepy. I won't do it agian.lol

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Posted on Mon Jan 16, 2006 11:38 am

### eversosleepy

Joined: 27 Nov 2005
Posts: 72

I'm pretty sure I just said to refrain from using insults.

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Posted on Mon Jan 16, 2006 4:19 pm

### psiboy20

Joined: 12 Jan 2006
Posts: 32

eversosleepy wrote:
I'm pretty sure I just said to refrain from using insults.

My bad

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Posted on Mon Jan 16, 2006 10:12 pm

### Satans_Burrito

Joined: 13 Jan 2006
Posts: 34

Funny story eversosleepy! I agree with you on the first three episodes. George Lucas just did not have the brains to come up with a good story line. Mabye it was because he went from the middle, to the end, back to the beginning and back the middle. I don't think he had too much to go on. I heard that he did not want to do the first three episodes. I think that episodes 4-6 are better than the first 3. In all, I think that episode 5 is the best. Rebels getting killed, han is tortured, luke hand is chopped off(did you know that Luke does get his hand back of from a Sith master that found it. Luke puts it back on ). What episode do you think was the best?

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Posted on Tue Jan 17, 2006 9:55 am

### Prophet

Joined: 12 Jan 2006
Posts: 79

personalie i chose yoda because
1.hes short
2. he speaks like a carnie
3.he owns pretty much everyone he fights
the one thing about starwars i hate is how they know avery detail about there "powers"
i meen its like "woa i can lift that rock...it must be micro-organisms flowing through my body which other people want to use for evil and now i need a sword...no a sabre...no a laser stick...even better a lightsabre.
its a good movie if you dont think about it when you watch.
and secondly i find it creepy that pants partys pic is just there staring at you like the enaughty uncle everybody has(i dont but you get the joke)

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Posted on Tue Jan 17, 2006 3:05 pm

### Roy

Joined: 27 Nov 2005
Posts: 416

NERD ALERT NERD ALERT NERD ALERT!! WHOOOOOOO!! WHOOOOOO!! NERD ALERT NERD ALERT NERD ALERT!!
This is not a drill. The nerds have breached the General Discussion section of Psipog. Throw nudie pictures of Gillian Anderson and old THX 1138 DVD's to slow them down.
Oh yeah, and it's Yoda biatches. Yoda is the end all, be all of jediism. Roy's post strong, it is.

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Posted on Thu Feb 02, 2006 5:53 pm

### llama

Joined: 02 Feb 2006
Posts: 8

Who can't love a little green guy that kills stuff. Anikan's annoying.

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