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A Little Weird

reality bizarres the standard

## Archive for the ‘Lottery’ Category

October 28th, 2007 by Sean The Lottery Reloaded

Oh goodie!

I took a month off from the lottery, due to the low jackpot amounts over the course of October. And it couldn’t have come at a better time - October has been especially stressful for me for many reasons. Changing jobs, changing shifts, changing apartments, and in general just changing my whole day-to-day activities. But that stress is finally equalizing itself, and life is starting to get back into a pattern, so I’m free to experiment with more fun ideas on reality. And it just so happens that the lottery jackpot has gotten within my acceptable range :-).

I played on Friday, but didn’t get any numbers, unfortunately. But that’s ok.

I’ve come to accept that I’ve failed over the summer (in terms of the lottery). If you remember… the lottery motivated me to start living my ideal life right now (instead of waiting around for a huge jackpot). That meant learning more about music, exercising and eating healthy, investing, and thinking about tough subjects like value, choice, faith, etc. So the lottery was a success in terms of motivation and life-stuff, but the act of winning was a failure. I didn’t win the jackpot.

However, I now think that it was better that way. I’ve come to reject the ideas of personal development and intention manifestation. And I think that it’s important to reject those ideas. They served me well for quite a while, but now it’s time to move on. Had I won the lottery in the summer, it would have validated the ideas of personal development and intention manifestation… which would have been incorrect, and messed with my head. So it’s better this way. Or at least - that’s how I currently rationalize my failure at the moment ;-).

Now that I have finished my rejection, I feel more free to win the lottery without all the intellectual baggage associated with it. During the summer, success of the lottery project was directly linked to correctness of my belief structure. That’s a wonderful way to inject emotional stress into a situation :-). However, now I feel like my success with the lottery is independent of my beliefs. So I can relax. I feel more playful and curious, as opposed to forceful and frustrated :-P.

We’ll see how long this lasts ;-P.

Either way, I want to do more experiments, and gather actual EVIDENCE to figure out how I can pull off this win. I most definitely believe it’s possible and plausible to win the jackpot. I stand by my rejection of modern statistics and probability, and my rejection of randomness. That’s sound logic right there - and the evidence supports it. Now I just need to keep reminding myself to focus on the evidence, and not any willy nilly emotion or philosophical idea that flutters across my creative mind.

Hurray :-).

Posted in Lottery, Personal Development, Science | 11 Comments »

September 25th, 2007 by Sean Lottery Update - 196 Days

So last Friday was a big day in my lottery world. The drawing meant a lot for two main reasons: 1. I had been meditating on schedule for 3 weeks, putting a total of 4 hours and 13 minutes towards intending on winning. 2. I was at $0 profit, so if I didn’t win anything, then I would officially be going into lottery-debt.

The results were: ZERO NUMBERS CORRECT. Oi!

So that pissed me off :-).

I was bummed out all of Friday, and I was thinking to myself how crazy I was for trying to win the lottery, and how silly the whole goal is in general. When I went to sleep on Friday, I was debating whether to keep the project going or not.

Saturday night I came to one important realization though. The project isn’t silly :-). I have won the lottery in the past, and my logic up until this point has been very strong. I have evidence to support my beliefs - I’m not just plucking things out of the air. I’ve beaten the odds. I’ve proven modern statistics wrong already. I accomplished 1 in 43,000 in the first 5 drawings. So I still have another 42,947 losses before the statistics balance out. Until that point arrives - I am beating the mathematical odds.

Sunday night I came to an even better realization. I realize that I’ve been taking this project too seriously. It used to be fun. I used to be excited to just play and see the results. But now when I check my numbers, I just prepare myself to be frustrated and pissed off. So I want to take the next two weeks as a break (while waiting for the jackpot to reach $45mil), and just try to relax and not be so serious.

Also, I think that intention manifestation - as presented by popular sources - is bullshit. I don’t think that those who teach the popular view of intention manifestation are purposely misleading people. I think that we saw some strange shit, and we were too quick to try and explain it. We wanted to show everyone the weird things we experienced, and when everyone else demanded an explanation, we felt obligated to give one. I now believe the correct response should have been: “I don’t know how it works, but it’s pretty weird, huh?” :-).

We always have to be careful with our minds. When we want to believe something we are in a very dangerous position of altering our perception in order to see what we want to see. The second we let our guard down is the second a false belief sneaks in under the guise of truth. Everything must be questioned. The jeweler doesn’t appraise rocks in bulk… each one is put under the magnifying glass, and judged individually. I feel as though intention manifestation is a box of rocks. It’s time to pull out every idea - one by one - and figure out exactly where the gemstones are hiding. And have fun in the process :-).

Posted in Lottery, Personal Development, Belief Systems | 4 Comments »

September 6th, 2007 by Sean$330 mil, 4 winners

So anyways… I got one number correct on the big drawing last Friday. There were four jackpot winners, who had to split the $330 million dollar prize money. Pretty good chunk of change right there.

I notice that every time someone wins the jackpot, and it isn’t me, that I get really pissed off :-P. Usually for about a week. I don’t mind when nobody wins, because then I can just try again in a few days… but when someone wins, I can’t help but think that they did it correctly, and I didn’t. So that bugs me.

I’m continuing with my strategy of doing intention manifestation every day, for a set amount of time, and increase the duration by a minute each day. Today I’m at 10 minutes… tomorrow 11, etc.

I started the lottery project in March, and it’s now September. I’m at $1 profit. I’ve destroyed the odds, and I should be in the hole quite a bit of money according to modern statistics. For example, my dad started in April, and is at -$109 (though he does play a different lottery than I do). Either way… my results prove that modern statistics is flawed on some level… but I’ve yet to take advantage of it’s flaws to win the jackpot. (Maybe I shouldn’t use the word “prove”, because people get anal about that. Oh well, bite me :-P.)

I have no choice but to keep going. Part of me wishes I would just give up on it, and start focusing on other weird things (OBEs, PK, LDs…), so I would have more to write about :-). But I can’t. I know I can win. It’s just that simple.

Reality, reality.

You know, when I finally do hit the jackpot, it still won’t answer any of my questions :-P. By that I mean: I’ll be just as clueless as to how I did it as anyone else will be. I find that funny :-).

I can’t help but think that intention manifestation is also incorrect. When I think about “The Secret“, my gut tells me there’s a lot of bullshit there. But I also can’t argue with results… I’ve used intention manifestation techniques to do some weird shit that blew me away. Hm.

What happens? A truth is revealed, and then everyone jumps all over it, putting their own spin on it, promoting it as their truth. Over time it becomes distorted, and the original truth fades out. I fear that’s what’s happening with intention manifestation. Too many people thinking about it :-P. Too many people forming ideas, and not enough raw perception. I’m guilty as well.

It’s funny how if you think about things a lot, and I mean really think… deep thought, focused, logical thinking… and you really stick to it, and draw wonderful conclusions, and come up with really beautiful and elegant ideas… that eventually you conclude that you think too much. But you need to think too much to reach that conclusion.

*blinks*

Posted in Lottery | 11 Comments »

August 28th, 2007 by Sean More on Choice and the Lottery

I think about the nature of choice and free will quite a bit.

I already know that free will exists. Philosophy majors can bite me :-P. Free will exists because I see myself using it all the time. I’m not going to get into a debate about determinism.

But how do we make decisions? What is a decision? Can we break it down to a chemical reaction in our brains? Or a specific electric current flowing through the neurons in our noggins? I believe we could find some things in my head that relate to my decisions, but I don’t think that’s the starting point of the decision. The chemical reactions are simply side effects.

The only possibility I see is that decisions originate from the quantum world. “Spritual” or whatever. I don’t see any other option (of course, just because I don’t see it doesn’t mean another option doesn’t exist :-P).

Then I think: I think way too much! Does this even matter? I make decisions all the time. I don’t need to know how it functions to use it. Here it is… some mysterious decision making process. Now what will I do with it?

Well, I want to win the lottery, and I believe that I can choose to win. So how am I going to do that. Hmm.

My brain tells me there are two angles for attack: 1. perceive the winning numbers (ESP), or 2. affect the drawing (Micro-PK). However, my intuition says that there is a third option… and my intuition tells me that this third option is related to intention manifestation.

Let’s explore the intuition some more…

> Don’t worry so much! :-) Yes, intention manifestation is the starting point. The brain fails you in this situation because ESP and Micro-PK are dependent on the idea that the observer is separate from the observed. Intention manifestation is more correct because it uses the truth that we are all in the same pool of reality, interconnected. Even if you don’t want to accept that, then look at the facts. Remember that intention manifestation actually produced results in the past - ESP and Micro-PK didn’t come close. Now, the intention manifestation model isn’t perfect… you’ve already torn it apart in previous posts. But it is useful at this stage, and a step forward. My recommendation is to start intending again. Forget about all the theories, explanations, and thought-junk; Just Do It.

I’ve learned how to make a training regiment and stick to it. I’ve proven this with my physical training. Perhaps it’s time to start exercising my ability to manifest as well.

Start low, increase slowly. I’ll start today, intending to win the MegaMillions Jackpot, visualizing myself having the winning ticket. I’ll focus on this for one minute without interruption. And I’ll increase it by a minute every day. By the end of September, I’ll be intending for over 30 minutes.

Sounds like a plan :-).

Posted in Lottery, Note to Self, ESP, Subconscious | 7 Comments »

August 20th, 2007 by Sean To “Deserve”

I’ve been struggling with this idea of “deserving to win the lottery” for a little while now, and I’ve finally found the solution. First, let me describe my original conflict.

With intention manifestation, some say it’s important to feel as though you deserve whatever it is you’re trying to manifest. My problem with this idea is that to feel as though you deserve something is really asking for trouble. It’s being rude to reality. It’s my belief that reality will determine what you deserve, using precise and exact judgment. If you feel as though you deserve something, and reality disagrees, then you’re setting yourself up for disappointment and suffering.

So my solution to that was to never feel as though I deserved anything. I hated seeing people do nothing and feel as though they deserve something. It’s rude. If you want something, then go after it. Work hard for it, and attain it. It seemed as though this feeling of “deserving” would get in the way. Whenever I think of it, I envision a bad employee who always complains about how they deserve a raise, or deserve longer breaks, or more benefits. Quit complaining, and go get it! Stop wallowing, stop feeling as though you deserve something you haven’t earned, and get off your ass and do something about it!

Anyways…

Those were my old thoughts. I still like most of them, but I’ve altered them slightly now that I’ve found a solution.

I now agree that it’s important to feel as though you deserve whatever you’re intending to manifest. And my negativity associated with “deserving” has been removed. Let me explain my new thoughts… (sorry if this turns out to be a little long-winded):

I live in Maryland, and went on vacation in Georgia, where my family lives. We went to see an Atlanta Braves baseball game, and I couldn’t help but notice all the attractive females walking around :-). One thing I really miss about Georgia is all the smoking hot females. Of all the places I’ve lived, Georgia definitely has the most beautiful women.

I was also admiring the skill of the baseball players. I was thinking about how hard they worked to achieve their goal of playing in the majors. How much training and hard work they must have gone through, just to perform gracefully and correctly.

With that in mind, I tried to imagine a world where every person lived up to their potential. Where every single person found their dream job, and worked hard to achieve their goals. Where every person exercised, ate healthy, and was beautiful. I tried to imagine what that world would be like. Would it be better than our world? What would it be like if every last person on the planet was successful to their highest potential?

My mind started to create this world, so I could see how it would function. First I envisioned a baseball pitcher becoming the best he could… throwing the fastest and most precise pitches. Then I thought how this perfect pitcher would strike everyone out… But then I remembered - the batter would also live up to his highest potential. Each player would be the perfect batter, and could hit any pitch exactly where they wanted. I saw that baseball would still exist in this perfect world, because competition would still be valid. Perfect players playing against perfect players still produces a great game.

Then I started to think about perfect females. Then I envisioned myself living up to my potential. Healthy, strong, smart, fun, compassionate, etc. Everything maxed out. While looking out over the crowd of fans, I envision every man and women in the stands as living up to their potential. I imagined all of us had achieved all our goals, and were living healthy and happy lives.

After playing this out in my head for a while, I realized that it would be a pretty kick ass place to live in. Everyone would be happy, and there would be very little problems in the world. We would all be rich. We would all support each other. It would be really great.

This was when I realized the real meaning of the word “deserve”. I realized that we all deserve to live in a world like that. I deserve to live up to my highest potential. But you, the reader, also deserve me to live up to my highest potential. And I deserve you to live up to yours. And you deserve it as well.

I realized that I actually deserve to win the lottery. But so does anyone else who also sets that as a goal. It’s not really about earning it… it’s more about realizing that the world could be like my day dream. It’s possible for all of us to live in a world where each person has lived up to their potential. We all need to work for it. You deserve to accomplish your goals because they are your goals! And I deserve to have a reader who has accomplished their goals! So don’t let me down :-P.

Maybe I’m not explaining it correctly. My old thought pattern was that you get what you deserve. Reality determines what you deserve. So don’t complain about what you’re looking at, because reality has served it to you. If you think you deserve something else, then work for it.

My new thought pattern is that it’s possible for us to live in a world where everyone has lived up to their potential. And we deserve to simply because it’s possible. We shouldn’t settle for any less. We can create a perfect world, so we must. Anything less wouldn’t be fair. From this root, I see that I deserve to win the lottery, simply because it’s my goal, and I deserve to accomplish my goals. It’s on my path towards living up to my potential. And you deserve a webmaster who has lived up to his potential! So I won’t let you down :-).

It’s an interesting idea for me, because I’m not used to thinking like this. I’m sure many of you out there have realized what I’ve written in your own unique ways. But I’m glad that I’ve finally realized it for myself :-). Step 1. Randomness doesn’t exist. Step 2. I deserve to live up to my potential. Step 3….?

(Also: After finishing this post, I just checked my most recent lottery ticket. I won $2. Odds 1 in 75. I haven’t won money from MegaMillions since I realized that randomness doesn’t exist :-P. I think I’m on the right track.)

Posted in Lottery, Belief Systems | 22 Comments »

August 4th, 2007 by Sean Lottery Update - 144 Days

So what are my lottery results thus far?

I started the lottery project in March. It’s now August. I’ve played 40 MegaMillion tickets, and a bunch of scratch off tickets. Of the $40 spent on MegaMillions, I’ve won $10 (from my 4th and 5th ticket purchased). All others have been losers. I’ve spent $77 on scratch off tickets, and won $113. If you do the math, that means my entire project is showing a profit of $6. At it’s peak, it was boasting around a $70 profit… but that has slowly dwindled down.

My interest in the project wavers in and out - just like any project that takes prolonged effort. I’m glad I made the rule to stop playing when the jackpot is under $45 million. This allows me to take some time off and think about other things, and then approach it with new effort when it’s in my range.

My biggest winnings have come from the scratch off tickets. I think the reason for this is because it’s simply easier :-P. The ticket is already winning before I purchase it, and I can hone in on winning tickets. MegaMillions is an entirely different game. I must either predict the correct numbers, or force my numbers to come up. I perceive this as a harder game. Whether or not the game itself is objectively “harder” is unknown… all I know is that from my perspective, it is harder.

It might make sense to play more scratch off tickets, since that’s where I have more “luck”. That’s just not what I want to do though. Scratch offs don’t pay as much, and they are harder to measure from a mathematical standpoint. They also toy with your emotion :-P. Of course, maybe that’s a good thing..?

Which brings me to the most important observation: I have no clue what direction to move in. Intention manifestation had the most results with the scratch off, but it didn’t really help with MegaMillions. The only winnings I had in MegaMillions happened the two drawings after I came to the realization that randomness doesn’t exist. So maybe I should attempt to have more realizations? I try, but either my new realizations aren’t correct, or don’t help :-P. I haven’t won :-P.

I don’t know how to gauge my progress. I don’t know how to tell whether I’m not I’m moving in the correct direction. For example - if your goal is to learn to play guitar, then it’s pretty easy to gauge your progress. Listen to yourself play - do your fingers move faster? Does it sound nicer? Then you’re doing good. However, with the lottery, it’s a little more tricky. The only gauge I have is whether I win or not. If I don’t win, then I can’t tell if what I did the few days before actually helped or not. Maybe I’m moving in the correct direction, but I’m not winning because I haven’t moved far enough along? Or maybe I’m way off base have to turn around? I simply don’t know.

Or maybe I’m completely wrong, randomness does exist, and I’m doing all this for nothing :-|. Naaa!

I’m going to keep trying. It’s such a small investment that it would be silly to quit. I literally pay for my tickets using a bucket of spare change. So it’s not like I’m going broke over it :-P.

I like the project because it’s challenging. It’s a good goal, and it’s forcing me to move in all directions to find a solution. I’m not sure if a solution actually exists… but I’m learning a lot along the way, and I have nothing better to do… so no harm done. And it’s fun. I’ve become a better person in the process as well - I’ve been exercising regularly, I’ve learned how to compose music, and I try to have patience with my roommate’s cats :-). It might seem unrelated on the surface, but when I say I’m moving in “all directions”, I mean it :-P.

I haven’t won the jackpot yet, though. If a solution does exist, then I will find it.

Posted in Lottery | 11 Comments »

July 29th, 2007 by Sean Everything is Meaningful

There is a deeper meaning connecting all of our life events together. Everything in our lives happens for a reason, and that reason is tied directly with our core being.

Now… I understand that when I start talking about “deep meaning”, that it sounds sort of spiritual and mystical… but please realize that I’ve come to this conclusion based on what I’ve seen. It’s the only logical conclusion I can come to based on the evidence I’ve been presented with. This isn’t a spiritual realization - this is an observation. Everything does have meaning.

Reality is just like a dream. When we dream, all these symbols and archetypes mesh together to form a strange experience. We wake up, and we might brush it away… or we might look for the deeper meaning. If I dream about building a tree house, this could mean that I’m trying to build an emotional sanctuary to escape to, in order to get away from my problems and feel at peace. There’s meaning. Reality is just like this.

For example, in my car I have two small rubiks cubes hanging from my rear view mirror. The heat made the stickers curl and fall off - so now they are just blank cubes. The rubiks cube represents difficult - but solvable - problems in my life. The stickers falling off represents that I won’t solve these problems in a conventional sense. I will solve the problems by transcending the rules of the game. The stickers fell to the floor in my car, and made a mess. This represents that by transcending the rules, I will create a mess as a result. The stickers had been on the floor for weeks in my car, and yesterday I finally took the time to pick them up and throw them out. This represents that I have finally cleaned up the resulting mess, and everything will work out.

Now - on the surface it just looks like I had some rubiks cubes in my car, the stickers fell off, and I didn’t clean it for a while. Who cares. But when you start treating things as if they have deeper meaning, then they start to actually have deeper meaning :-P.

You may argue that it’s my mind that’s creating this deeper meaning. That reality is random, and I’m just seeing something that isn’t there. You are correct - in a sense. You are correct that my mind is creating this deeper meaning. But the mistake is thinking that reality is random.

Reality is a mirror. There is no better way to put it. In fact, I was at the book store and I read a story highlighting this exact observation. I picked up a “random” book, and started reading “random” pages, and “stumbled” upon the following story (which I will attempt to recall from memory):

A dog entered a room. He spent some time in there, and upon leaving, he was gnarling, barking, growling, and overall just filled with anger. Another dog entered the same room. Upon leaving, he was happy, wagging his tail, with a huge smile on his face. What was in the room? It was a room of mirrors. THIS IS REALITY.

Some might argue that this is no big deal. I mean… everything has meaning. That’s great and everything, but ultimately - so what? That’s nothing new. I disagree with this apathetic response.

This is a big deal. The reason it’s a big deal is because it’s true :-P. This isn’t some philosophical inquiry about how reality might function. This isn’t some pot head drunk moment of clarity. It might come to the same conclusion - but the path is very different.

This is observable - 100% of the time. This is you reading this post. This is me writing this post. This is the keyboard under my fingertips. This is the fan next to my monitor. This is my roommate’s cats. This is my car. This is my relationships. This is my mother and father. This is my bed. This is my job. This is my body. It’s a reflection of myself. I am looking at myself. And therefore, all I can see is deep meaning.

So what’s the practicality of this observation? How does this realization actually help me? How can I actually use it in real life?

Well, for one, I’m going to use it to win the lottery :-P. I may go into the “how” in another post.

Ultimately, this realization helps me become a better person. By looking around me, I see where I am. Who I am. And the small problems that spring up in my life are reflections of problems in my own mind.

For example - I went through a time period of playing chess a little while ago. I bought chess books, studied chess, and tried to improve my chess skills. Looking back, I see deep meaning associated with this. I was attracted to chess for a lot of reasons, but one of the main ones was because I felt a lot of personal responsibility for where I was in my life. Chess intrigued me because in chess - you make all your own moves. No one forces you to move anywhere. The only difference between me and a Grandmaster is how we move. It’s not like poker, where we have to play the “cards were delt”. It’s not like trivia, where our knowledge dictates our success. It’s not football, where our physical strength is what counts. In chess, it’s a simple game, where we have to combine our intuition with our calculating abilities to make simple moves that win. That resonated with me. It’s a reflection.

By studying chess, what I was really trying to do was study the laws of reality. Figure out the game. Use intuition and reason to win.

Now - how does this observation help me? Well - let’s look at chess. For one person to win, another has to lose. As with most games. If I felt a strong connection with chess, and knew that my interest in chess was a reflection of my desire to learn the laws of reality and “win”, then I can see a problem. The problem is that in reality, I don’t have to make someone else lose for me to win. Everyone can win in reality. But if I feel that I must make someone else lose in order for me to win, then that uncovers an unhealthy belief that needs to be dealt with. So - by seeing the interest I had in chess, I can quickly see that I need to inspect my beliefs about the duality of winning and losing, and figure out why I feel that I need to make others lose in order for me to win. And once I root out the problem, I will stop resonating with chess, and become uninterested in it. Which is what happened.

That doesn’t mean that you can’t play chess :-P. Chess means different things to different people, at different times in their life. When I was younger, I used to play chess a lot. I played against a computer. That probably had a completely different meaning at the time :-P.

I’ve outlined two examples in my life on how simple things have deeper meaning (rubiks cube, and chess). I’ve made these observations in dozens, if not hundreds of things in my life in the past month. I am amazed at how everything fits together seamlessly. When we see one or two connections, things become curious. But when we start to unravel the entire web of meaning, then it’s … simply amazing at how accurate of a mirror reality is.

By looking at our interests, we can predict problems that will arise in different areas of our life. Why do we resonate with something? Are there some unhealthy reasons for why we enjoy what we enjoy? How will these unhealthy beliefs filter through to other areas of our lives and create discord? If I can predict all of this, can I start to actually create a better reality by making small - and seemingly unrelated - decisions in my life? Can I win the lottery by being nice to my roommate’s cat? (or am I just insane?! :-P)

Posted in Lottery, Philosophy, Personal Development | 18 Comments »

July 18th, 2007 by Sean So what would you do?

Let’s say you won a couple million. What would you do with the money?

“Two chicks at the same time.”

Thank you Office Space. Nonetheless, despite the cliché, it’s a good question to ask.

When I first thought about winning the lottery, I imagined myself back at the University of Georgia, learning about everything. Music theory, engineering, brain science, math, physics, psychology, religion, astronomy, computer animation… I wouldn’t have to focus on one major, and could go at my own pace.

For my lifestyle, I imagined myself exercising every day, having a cool place to live, lots of books, lots of cool gadgets, perhaps some hottie college girlfriend. I’d be living close to some of my friends from Georgia, and it’d be great hanging out with them, having a good time. I’d love to travel as well… see the different cultures and landmarks around Earth. I imagined opening a book store where people could go to hang out. I would have different events that would be fun… group discussions, debates, guest speakers, activities, etc.

Anyways - back to the point. The question immediately becomes: why not work towards that right now?

So lately, that’s what I’ve been doing. I pick something off the list of “if I had a shitton of money…”, and do it. A lot of the things on my list don’t require any money. For example, I can study all those topics on my own. I don’t need to pay a teacher. In fact, when I was in college, I rarely went to class because the teachers always did such a piss poor job. These past two weeks I’ve been studying music theory, and composing different songs. It’s fun :-).

I also started exercising a while ago (which I mentioned in another post). Why wait until I have a big number in my bank account to go running in the sun?

I guess it all seems really obvious though. Especially in hindsight. 99% of the things I listed don’t even require huge sums of money. A lot of winning the money is just a boost in confidence. I bet I could even open a book store without a ton of money, if that’s what I really want to do. Traveling isn’t that expensive either (right Matt?).

I mean… fuck. We are free. Am I looking for the courage to win the lottery, or looking for the courage to live my life how I truly want to live it? *shrugs*

What would you do with large sums of money?

Posted in Lottery, Personal Development | 18 Comments »

July 14th, 2007 by Sean Value

I’ve been thinking about money and value lately with the purpose of trying to uncover limiting beliefs that could be holding me back from winning the lottery.

Before I get into it, let me say one thing. The book, The Richest Man in Babylon, by George S. Clason, is an unbelievably awesome book on money. I highly recommend it - it’s one of my favorites that I’ve read multiple times.

So anyways… on thinking about money and business, I notice that a lot of businesses are based on lies. And that bothers me. Just watch some commercials. Not skinny enough? We can fix that. Not getting enough sleep? We can fix that. Dick isn’t big enough? We can fix that. Clothes not cool enough? We can fix that. Not happy enough? We got some pills you can take!

I mean… so many businesses are based on convincing the customer that they won’t be happy until they buy a product. They target an insecurity and exploit it for profit. That’s pretty fucking rude :-P.

But then I suppose I should be fair. There are businesses that actually provide a useful service, that deserve their success. For example, FedEx, Google, NetFlix, Amazon, etc. They provide a service without preying on their customers.

So where is the value? I don’t think there is any value in exploiting insecurities. But I do think there is value in providing an honest service.

I want to say that the value of something is ultimately created in the mind. But I can’t see it clearly just yet. Or maybe I can…

After all, if no one was insecure about how fat they are, then diet commercials that tried to target a non-existent insecurity would be ineffective. Should I be blaming the business, or should I be blaming the customer for having the insecurity in the first place? Where is the value created?

It’s the customer who creates the value. It is the mind.

> A mighty general was holding and admiring one of his antique cups. Suddenly, the cup slipped from his hands and fell. Although in shock, he quickly caught the cup before it hit the ground. Somewhat breathless from this incident, he thought to himself, “I have led tens of thousands of soldiers into battle without fear. Why did a cup cause me to become so frightened?” He then realized that it was his mind of attachment and loss that caused him such fright. With this comprehension, he casually threw the cup to the ground and let it break.

Posted in Lottery, Books | 9 Comments »

July 7th, 2007 by Sean Issues with the Lottery

I lost this round. I spent $12 on lottery tickets for Friday’s drawing, and lost.

I went to bed pissed off. But I woke up with the solution. Funny how that works..?

For those that think I’m crazy, let me reassure you: no one questions my sanity more than myself :-). Perhaps it is all just random, and I’m putting myself through this for no good reason whatsoever. That thought certainly crosses my mind. However - I can’t deny my observations. And once I start thinking about my observations, I quickly regain my confidence, and realize that I can win the jackpot if I remain persistent. I’ve made intelligent decisions up to this point, and I’m confident in my logic so far. I’m just need to keep going.

Or maybe I’m addicted to gambling? Heh, that thought is truly ridiculous for anyone who knows me. I have a very non-addictive personality, and I aggressively avoid anything that just might cause an addiction. In fact, that’s one of the main reasons I stopped playing scratch off lottery tickets. I observed my emotions moving a millimeter towards addiction, and cut it off immediately.

Anyways, here is a list of ideas that I will have to resolve:

### 1. There is no such thing as randomness -or- Do I have the courage to live in a world without randomness?

Now I know I’ve addressed this topic before. However, parts of my mind still rely on this idea of randomness to “patch things up” that I’m not entirely aware of. For example, on July 4th I drove home from work differently so I could get some gas. I didn’t realize that the path I had chosen would result in a shit load of traffic because people were watching fireworks. This pissed me off, and it’s possible part of myself said that my suffering was random (or: it was random that I inadvertently decided to get gas at that specific day and time, where there was excessive traffic). To be pissed is to deny the order of the universe.

I find myself making decisions based on a belief in randomness. Let me outline exactly what I mean, because this is the main reason why I lost this past drawing. Imagine a chess game :-), and I’m white. Now, as I move my chess pieces around the board, and develop a strategy, I have to try to predict what my opponent is going to do, and prepare myself for their attacks, and also counter-attack at the same time. How does my prediction process work? At some point, I might try to think of random moves my opponent would make, in order to figure out how I would respond.

I do this with reality. It’s a wonderful tool for decision making. I think to myself, “When I get out of the Air Force, I will go back to college. However, if the Air Force refuses to pay for my college (even though they said they would), then I need to have a backup plan. And if I win the lottery, then I don’t need to worry about that. But if I don’t win the lottery, and the Air Force screws me over, then what do I do? In that case, I will find a good job with my decent resume. However, this choice isn’t optimal because my resume wouldn’t include a Bachelors degree.” Now look at how many paths I’ve outlined in my head, and how those paths rely on the idea of randomness.

I have no explanation for why the Air Force would screw me over, however - it is possible and probable, so I must prepare for it (just like in the chess game). But at the same time, if nothing is random, and everything happens for a reason, then why should I prepare? Or more accurately: since the reason I prepare is because I foreshadow possible stressful situations, and I want to alleviate that imaginary stress: why should the Air Force screwing me over stress me out if nothing is truly random?

### 2. What I will do with the money?

I’m starting to solve this issue, but I still need some work. It’s important for me to define (in a general sense) what I plan to do with the money - and start working towards that right now. For example, a few months ago I had visualized myself in Georgia with $33 mil, exercising daily and running in the sun. But while visualizing this, in reality I was a lazy bum, and didn’t exercise at all. So, internally, the idea of winning the jackpot meant I could start exercising. However, this is an unhealthy limitation, that puts a need on winning the jackpot. Like so: I need to be healthy = I need to exercise = I need to win the lottery. Associating a need with the jackpot introduces failure. The solution to that particular problem was to start running NOW. Which is what I do. I exercise 3-4 times a week.

Even though I solved that one problem, there are more. What will I do with the money? Is there a way I can start working towards my goals NOW? Is there a way I can relieve this need to win?

### 3. Am I cheating?

I have this issue mostly resolved, but I have some more work to do here as well. Am I cheating by winning the lottery? In a way, yes. I am betraying the trust of those who enter the lottery. We have a preconception that this is a game of chance… if everyone knew it wasn’t a game of chance, and that it was a game of choice, would people still play? Maybe more people would play :-P. But nonetheless, the issue still exists. If there exists one person who plays because it’s a game of chance, then I am cheating that person by using conscious choice to win.

Now the obvious solution to this is to realize that I can’t be accountable for someone else’s ignorance or misunderstanding. But there’s still some negativity in this line of argument that needs to be resolved.

### 4. Is it moral to get something for nothing?

This is an interesting problem which needs some attention indeed. I stumbled upon the Seven Blunders of the World, by Gandhi. (Flashback: by using the word “stumbled” in the previous sentence, am I affirming a form of randomness exists?). Gandhi lists seven blunders that humans make, one of them being: wealth without work.

Now, in my head I’m clearly working hard for this win. Look how much time and energy I’ve put into it so far. I’m working, according to my own standards. But I think I should give Gandhi a little more credit and think about this idea some more. I’ve heard other people claim it’s ethically wrong to use intention manifestation to win the lottery because you’re getting “something for nothing”, but I really don’t care what they think. However, when Gandhi says it, then perhaps I should perk up and pay attention :-P.

This brings up the topic of what is wealth, how society views wealth, the true value of something, what the natural order of things are regarding wealth and value, etc. A lot of issues that need to be addressed, and I’ve barely scratched the surface.

### Overall

Looking over this list, and looking internally at the beliefs and thoughts in my head that need to be resolved, I still come to the same conclusion: I can do this. I can overcome these obstacles in a positive way that will conclude with me winning the jackpot. My goal is possible. But I do have work to do, and I’m not entirely sure how I’ll get there just yet. But the destination exists :-).

Posted in Lottery | 9 Comments »

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